United Brands Company, a beverage producer, today announced the nationwide launch of 3SUM, what they claim is the world's first entry into the category of "malternatives" (alternative malt beverages).

The new ready-to-drink alcoholic elixir, is a triple-filtered malt beverage with fruit flavors and a combination of caffeine, ginseng, and taurine. It comes in four flavors, Original, Apple, Watermelon and Tropical.

Michael Michail, the President and CEO of United Brands Company, says 3SUM is the "next big thing" in hip beverages, and that their product has "zing factor". So what the heck is "zing factor"? Who the Hell knows! But that's the claim that they're making.

The company says that 3SUM is designed to attract the attention of 20-something year old consumers through its "lively presentation full of vibrant colors". Their website plays a cacophony of hip-hoppish-disco music combined with photos of young adults having too much fun and getting lots of sex.

Source: Press Release